Living with Anxiety

Oh it’s just you, why have you come back?
You just left and I thought finally I am free
yet here you are again knocking, eager to see me.

You always come with lots of baggage
with worries, fears and doubts.
Why must this be your nature, all this fidgeting about?

You leave me exhausted, barely able to stand
Over and over we play this game,
not once has it ever changed.

Anxiety, you have haunted me
ever since that fateful day
when the one I loved the most, simply walked away.

I remember the day you appeared within sight,
targeting me from afar.
But I do believe I am to blame, for I left the door ajar.

In the space so recently vacated,
you made yourself at home.
Little did I know, that I was adjusting to your tone.

You fed on my memories
of love and pain alike.
You dangled them in front of me, willing me to bite.

Once I was hooked like a fish on a line,
you dragged me along behind you.
And pretty soon, I became used to that view.

I caught a glimpse in the mirror and to my horror
another face was looking back.
I poked and prodded this unsightly feature, taking note of the life I lacked.

Dear God, what have I done?
How did I become so blind, that I could not see,
what this unwanted visitor was doing to me?

Ah! but I'm starting to learn all your secrets, the tricks of the trade,
all the ways to ease and soothe your soul
for I will take back control.

Ever since that moment of wallow and despair,
you have offered to me,
your torturous care.

But this cycle will come to an end,
there will be no more
I will no longer allow you to use me as your floor.

For I know that when you come a knocking,
all I need to do is breathe
before my dance around you brings you to your knees.